Rise of the Straight Male Princess: Why Your Boyfriend Takes Longer to Get Ready Than You

Once upon a time, the straight man was a simple creature. He owned two shirts, three opinions, and one bottle of 3-in-1 shampoo that doubled as body wash and sometimes... toothpaste. But that era is officially over.

Welcome to 2025, where straight men are the new princesses—moody, high-maintenance, and somehow still the main character. Gone are the days of “babe, I’m ready, what’s taking you so long?” Now it’s “Do these cargos make my jawline look soft?”

We’re in the age of Skinfluencer Steve, Moisturizer Matt, and Glow-Up Greg. Straight men are now hoarding serums, scheduling hair appointments weeks in advance, and gaslighting their girlfriends into thinking “male blush is just contour, babe.”

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It starts with skincare. Suddenly your boyfriend knows what “niacinamide” is. He’s layering retinol with the ferocity of a Sephora intern and telling you your SPF isn’t “broad spectrum enough.” You blink and there’s an LED face mask glowing from under his gaming headset.

Next, it’s the fashion. Oversized cargos? Obviously. Y2K butterfly clips? Sure. Pearls? A must. He’s referencing Jacob Elordi as a style icon and calling his Adidas Sambas “vintage.” He owns more mesh than a 2003 club flyer. And now? He’s asking you to borrow hair gel.

And don’t even try to leave the house before him. He’s still perfecting his “undone done” hair, misting his cheekbones with setting spray and choosing between two nearly identical beanies. One says “I’m chill,” the other says “I do soft launch selfies.”

Bros Before Bows

Let’s be clear: we love a groomed king. We applaud the evolution. But the straight male princess isn’t just about self-care—it’s a full-blown lifestyle. He’s emotionally unavailable but so available for a silk robe moment. He’s ghosting you but journaling about it. He’s toxic, but in a frosted lip balm kind of way.

He’s also formed a coven. A group chat titled “Glitter Wolves” or “Boyz2Glow.” They trade acid peel tips and ask each other deep questions like, “Would Harry Styles wear this?”

What Caused This Transformation?

Blame TikTok. Blame A24. Blame the slow fusion of masculinity and moisturiser. But also, blame late-stage capitalism and the universal search for identity in a collapsing world. (Okay, but mostly TikTok.)

There’s now pressure for everyone—regardless of gender—to look like a Pinterest board. And let’s be honest: some of these boys are eating. The jawlines are sharper. The fits are styled. The vibes are immaculate.

Just… don’t expect them to help you carry groceries. They just got a fresh mani.

So What Now?

If your boyfriend spends more time on his “getting ready” playlist than his taxes—congratulations! You’re dating a 2025 Straight Male Princess™. And honestly? Let him cook. Or rather, let him mist, blend, exfoliate, and pout in peace.

Just make sure there’s mirror space for two, and maybe hide your expensive toner. Because nothing hits harder than your boyfriend stealing your La Mer and telling you “it was giving hydration.”

Final Thoughts?Masculinity is evolving. Gender norms are melting. And somewhere between beard oil and ballet flats, straight men became the ultimate beauty icons. Princesses, really. With a hint of ego and a touch of Tom Ford.

Long may they reign.